Ah! Hello again, Neocities! It's been a few years since I've had a personal website. I did have one like three or four years ago, but it was deleted when I forgot to update my payment info since it was not my main website (it was an extra one while my main website was my visual art portfolio)
I forgot how freeing it was to have your own little webbedsite. Sure I have two for visual art portfolios I don't particularly need anymore (I've all but given up on a career for visual art), but this one is more personal. Like I can literally just type whatever the hell I want. Part of the reason that I haven't been interested in visual art is because I've gotten moreso into writing. But there's another big reason.
So basically I moved to Colorado from Louisiana with my ex. I felt terrible in the relationship, and I was not a good partner. But my partner was not a good partner either. But I say all of that to illustrate that because I left my home state and needed a place to stay, I felt like I had to stay together for my safety. Also I was lowkey being manipulated, but anyway. Basically the relationship was terrible for both of us, but the entire time I was in the relationship I was led to believe that everything that I did was wrong, and everything my ex did was correct. It got to the point where I did not feel like I could communicate disinterest or disagreement.
So like, all of that culminated into pretty low self esteem and constant ADHD and Autistic burnout. It really wasn't until I stood my ground and moved out on my own that I started learning more about myself, and I was able to figure out my values and overall decide what's best for me. Now that that's all sorted, I can finally express myself through creative means. And right now, it's writing.
In all honesty, I'm actually pretty proud of myself! I stood up for myself, and now I'm finally living on my own in a walkable part of the city. I've always been a city girlie at heart. And now I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor. All because I finally grew a backbone! Life is rewarding when you challenge your status quo.
Anyway, yeah! I think that might be all I have to say at the moment. I might make another blog post about my special interests at the moment: make up and the Full House franchise. I have a lot to say about the Full House franchise. I've watched the first show, and now I'm getting through Fuller House. I'm thinking of writing an essay about the shows, focusing on how its success was because it portrayed a particular kind of white family in the 80s and 90s, the politics that allowed it to be such a cultural empire, and how that stands in opposition and is similar to its sequal show. I might post it here! Or I'll find a seperate place to host my essays and link it back here. Idk, I'll figure it out.
Okay, okay. I think this wraps up my first blog! Hooray!