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I'm wearing my dog ears and tail again and this time in public.

I'm way beyond, like, giving a shit about what people think of me in public. First of all, I'm a grown ass adult, and I can dress as I want. Second of all, I paid over $100 dollars for my ears and tail, so I'm going to goddamn wear them. I wore them in public two days ago, and the most rudest thing that's happened to far is someone's fake gagged twice after passing me on the street. Get better soon, I guess.

I just don't understand why people are so judgey about what other people wear. Like, there's no logical reason to be! It's not like I'm out here completely naked. I guess it's just because people have such negative reactions to furries? Like, whatever. My business is my business. And your business is your business. So how about they don't connect unless there's a valid reason for them to.

I understand a lot of people do not like furries because they think it's a sex thing. For some people it is! And for others it's not. I'm not really one to judge, given I'm into kink and pup play, and I'm also a furry myself. Like, furries are literally so cool. Like, we're cool as hell.

Most people I pass on the street either seriously don't give a shit, expect to see this shit because it's Colorado, or they keep their comments to themselves. You know, like normal people. And either way, I've been judged for wearing make up, dressing femininely because I pass as a guy, or just existing as a transgender person. I'm not particularly interested in "passing." I did not transisition and spend thousands of dollars on myself just to conform to gender norms I don't believe in. I did it to relieve my dysphoria. That doesn't mean I'm interested in passing as a man, you know?

My point is, people are going to stare at me regardless. Even if I do pass as a man, I'm going to pass as, at the very least, a cis gay man. So, no matter what I do, people willl judge and stare. And I may as well give them something to stare at while doing whatever the hell I want. The onlyt downside though, is that even with a beard, I still do get called "ma'am" very frequently. Not that you are less a woman if you have facial hair at any degree. But in terms of like, conformity and gender roles, it's odd that people look at my beard and mustache and still call me "ma'am." I think it's because I guess I'm a femboy? I dress pretty femininly. So, people just see how I present and assume I'm a woman? I don't know. The general public just picks one or the other. And I'm not about to correct a stranger and be like "Actually, I'm a transgender man (sorta), but I dress like a woman because it's how I'm most comfortable presenting myself." That opens a can of worms I do not have the patience to open.

I hate, hate, hate holding people's hand when trying to explain gender. Unless it's a new trans person, someone who's questioning, or someone I know is genuinely open minded, I'm not going to sit there and correct them and explain gender binary. Even with cis people I do know, I don't have the patience to be like "yeah so gender is a construct." Unless they have further questions, I'm just sticking to the binary.

It just gets sooo tiring repeating myself. Like yes, you can go to the "other" gender. Yes, your body can change to match the "other" gender. Yes, there are permanent and temporary side effects to this. I'm just grateful no one's asked me, like, sexual questions. And I would hope not regardless, because it's usually my coworkers that have genuine questions.

Like, genuinely, I do not care that this world is getting scarier for me. I will still continue to dress how I dress. I will not detransition. I take death before detransition seriously. I would rather die as I am than live and suffer another day not being myelf. Politicians are already using this whole made up epidemic about transgender people doing mass shootings to push for transgender concentrations camps. If they get me, they get me.

It's so frustrating too because transgender people are not dangerous, and if there are trans people that did horrible things, then they are in the minority of a minority. Let's be real, they don't focus on the shooters that have ties to alt-right communities and ideas because those are the ideas that this country relies on to continue to survive. But they sure as hell will push for punishment of people they don't like, trans people in this case.

I wonder if this website survives long after I leave it, these blog entries could give people an insight into how life was during this time for at least one trans person living through it. I wonder if after I leave my unintentional last blog entry, they'll wonder if I lived a long life or if I died by the government. Dear reader, you can rest easy knowing I won't go down without a fight, regardless of what happens. I do hope to be an old man some day. The idea of getting older literally keeps me living.

If someone IS reading this in the future, I'll make a little intro while maintaining some form of mystery.

Hi! I'm Joe. It's currently 11:40am MST on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2025. I'm a genderfucked and otherwordly trans man living in Colorado. I'm queer, bisexual, grayromantic, and aromantic. I moved from Louisiana last year, and I'm proudly Cajun. I enjoy making zines, coding, and writing. I hope to someday be known for my art or writing. I have a Bachelors of Fine Arts. I work with the public. I want to travel to Paris and Nova Scotia one day. I'm geniune, kind, and not afraid to do the right thing. As you've probably surmised, I think about the future a lot. I hope that one day capitalism will end, and everyone in the world wild be healthy and thriving in their communities. I want everyone to know that a better future is possible, and I'm sad I may not live to see it. But I do hold onto hope. I think, despite everything, everyone has the capability to be kind. I don't want to believe people are born inherently evil. The only thing stopping us is our egos and learned prejudices. I also think everyone has the capability to unlearn these things so that they can treat other people with kindness.

To everyone reading in the present: I'm sooooo sorry a lot of blog tend to end or mention how dangerous it is for me right now. It's because it's my whole world and as such I am constantly in danger. It never leaves my mind, and I think it's important to emphasize how much this affects me so that you remain aware the dangerous the community is in. Also I just like the idea of people using me as a resource for academics. I miss writing papers and essays! I really need to get back into that. Nothing is stopping me! And that's beautiful.